Visit the Sage

Subtle Differences Can Make A Major Impact

In the past few weeks I've had several occasions to discuss the differences between coaching, mentoring, training, facilitating and consulting. And on two occasions, the people with whom I spoke told me, "Gill, You should write that down. It's a very clear explanation."

So here is one man's opinion on the subject.

I've been working with wood since I was a child -- starting with the construction of decks, room additions and other residential remodeling, and gradually moving into fine cabinetry. To this day, I can build a mean table and chairs, but I lack any real skill at finishing -- stain, lacquer, etc. -- the things I build. If I wanted to get better at finishing what I build, I could hire a coach, trainer, mentor, facilitator or consultant -- and here's how each would help.

A coach is a person who, with absolutely no knowledge of finishing furniture, could help me increase my skills by drawing out of me what I already know and don't know, by helping me to set goals, by encouraging me to fill the gaps in my knowledge, and by keeping me accountable to meeting the goals I set. The primary value is someone to keep me on track as I do it myself.

A mentor is a person who has already done what I'm trying to do -- add finishing skills to my toolbox -- and will guide me through the same process he or she used. Of course some goal setting and accountability stuff might also happen along the way. And he or she may even throw in a bit of training when needed. The main value is in helping me avoid pitfalls along the way, thus getting me to my goal sooner.

A trainer is a person who has lots of experience finishing furniture, and who might typically stand in front of a room of people and tell them (or demonstrate to them) how to finish furniture. As an attendee to the training session, I may or may not also do some live practicing while I'm there. The value here is in learning specific techniques.

A facilitator is a person who, with no knowledge of finishing furniture, can stand in front of a group of people and get them to help one another get better at finishing furniture. He or she relies on the content experience of the audience, and is adept at getting them to share their experiences. The value is you get exposed to more ideas than with a single coach, mentor, trainer or consultant, since the attendees themselves bring the myriad ideas with them.

A consultant is a person who, with or without specific knowledge of finishing furniture, can look a the whole situation and help me determine several things. Why do I want the furniture finished? Would I be better off with unfinished furniture? Other than doing it myself, how else can I get it finished? Is it better to collaborate with a furniture finisher who sucks at building furniture, or should I take the time to learn myself?

He or she would then offer an opinion of what I should and should not do. If we agree that I should learn to finish furniture, and the consultant has specific knowledge of this craft, he or she may then turn to training, mentoring or some other discipline to help me accomplish my goal. If the consultant has no way of helping me further, he or she might recommend someone who can.

The value here is the expert guidance to make the right decisions for the short and long hauls. Of course, coaches will sometimes do a bit of this as well.

On a sales-related note, I do a bit of all of these things with my clients. And to avoid adding to the confusion, I call what I do "thought partnering." That way when I'm selling it, I can say "It's a thought-partner program that's a combination of coaching, mentoring, training, facilitating, consulting and whatever-it-takes assistance that ensures you reach your goals."

This also frees me up to do some creative thinking as part of the relationship -- something at which I'm particularly adept -- without violating the codes of ethics of any of these other professions.

I guess this article is a form of training -- a one-sided opinion-sharing effort. If you prefer more of a mentoring, facilitating or consulting style, then you'll need to share your opinion with me (and everyone else). Just use the comment feature of the blog and we'll see where this goes.

(Note: I approve only those posts I deem appropriate to the topic at hand.)

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Flex Those Networking Muscles

This morning I was asking a client in Chicago (John Usedom, president of Clever Returns, Inc., www.cleverreturns.com -- they build and manage customer loyalty programs for restaurants and other industries) about his efforts to get in shape. (We've been commiserating on this issue during the past year or so.)

In that conversation, I mentioned my lack of motivation for weight-lifting. You see, I'm a maniac when it comes to riding my bike, but I need to start lifting weights to create the body I want -- the body that will allow me to live the life I plan to live.

John's account of how he stays motivated not only impressed me, it made me wonder why the hell I hadn't thought of this angle myself. Talk about wearing blinders. I've been integrating sales with life since I started riding on sales calls with Dad at age 12, and this lightbulb stayed dark until now.

Here's what John had to say:

I don't know what your gym is like, but it is one of my only social outlets. I don't have a specific workout partner, but there are others I "work" with nearly every day.

How about this for a motivator that fits you really well? Becky [John's wife] and I go every morning from about 7 to 8:15. We arrive together and leave together but do not see or talk to each other the entire time we are there. (That was not the motivational part.)

I start by getting on a treadmill and speed-walking "hills" for 30 minutes. Then I go work on weights for a different muscle group each day. As I am not nearly the networker you are, it took me about a year to start talking with people more than just a "Hi." Now I've made friends and see these people every day.

I've met three restaurateurs, two restaurant vendors, three waiters or waitresses, about 20 realtors, 12 financial or mortgage people, several dancers, a postal worker, several technology salespeople, two air-traffic controllers, and a slew of others. (You'd probably know everyone including the janitor by now.)

Of all of these people, only three are true bodybuilders. The rest of them are anywhere from 35 to 55 years old; single, married or divorced; with or without kids; and with average bodies. All are there just to keep some semblance of shape and to feel good.

To me, being at the gym is better for doing business than being on any golf course. And the best part is that there are no pretenses or expectations -- relationships develop and take their own course.

You know the feeling you get on a good bike ride? Being in the gym gives me that feeling every day -- even on those occasional days when I don't necessarily want to be there. It is also a huge lift to my psyche, because I get human interaction with people across a broad range of industries.

For $50 a month -- it's worth every penny physically, mentally, socially and for business reasons.

Hey! If you're networking while you're on the treadmill can you deduct your membership as a marketing expense?

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Should I Pay For Referrals?

This morning, a colleague asked me this question:

I know your beliefs in connecting people, but what do you think about a company to whom you have been freely giving referrals, who then comes back with a referral to you, but says "I need a cut of the revenue"?

From your experience, does the pay-for-referral system work, whether percentage or flat fee?

It's a situation many entrepreneurs will face, so I thought I'd share my response:

I have commission-based referral relationships with several companies, where I get paid small commissions on referrals, and bigger commissions if I actually close deals.

So the model works. And flat fees are fine, provided they are contingent on the referral resulting in actual business.

However, these relationships are negotiated in advance, not spur-of-the-moment.

In other words, if a colleague sent me a half-dozen referrals already, I would never try to get paid for reciprocal referrals until I've at least equaled the value already provided to me.

As to your specific situation, if I gave someone a bunch of referrals and he or she tried to get paid for giving one back to me, I'd respond with something like this:

Joe,

I'm happy to change our relationship from "I refer you and you refer me" to "we pay one another for referrals." Once we settle on the structure and percentages, let me know how much revenue you've generated from the referrals I've already sent your way. Specifically:

* Sally Smith
* Bob Busch
* Jim Jones
* Mary Morrison
* Charles Chesterton

Once you give me the number, I can either invoice you for my cut, or, you can provide me enough referrals to equal the value I've already provided to you. (Entirely up to you -- I'm open to either model.)

What type of commission structure did you have in mind?

Gill

Just put his or her feet to the fire and see what happens. But be prepared to sever the relationship if he or she is truly a self-centered ...

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association