Visit the Sage

I Find No Joy In A Balanced Life

About three minutes ago the voice inside my head started arguing about this "balanced life" concept everyone is discussing these days -- especially so since the new year is coming. I remember my train of thought starting with Chinese turtles, but am not entirely sure of the progression from there to balanced lives. However, when the argument subsided, I found myself sitting at my computer, typing this opening paragraph into my "Compose New Post" screen.

I truly have no earthly idea what to say from here, so I'll just turn the keys over to the inner voice and see what happens. (I'll use the speed-writing exercise I explain in my book -- you simply type as fast as you can for five to 10 minutes and then clean up what you've written a bit when you're done.)

The hair on the back of my neck stands up whenever someone says "you must have a balanced life" but I've never stopped to ask myself why. Now I think I know -- balancing is damned hard work. (Ever tried to walk a tightrope?)

Why in the world would anyone wanting a balanced life add the task of creating that balanced life to his to-do list? Seems counter productive to me. Unless, of course, you're one of those folks who thrive on documenting things and making lists.

I'm just not one of those folks.

Yet at the same time, I always seem to be pretty happy -- never stressed beyond that healthy dose of stress that entrepreneurs like me love, great relationship with Cindy, good friends, a cat that will actually sit on my lap and purr. So under the assumption that a balanced life is about being happy, and figuring that I'm usually a pretty happy guy whose life is anything but balanced, then what am I doing right?

In my vernacular, I don't live a balanced life -- I live a blended life. I simply refuse to let time of day, day of week, week of month or month of year determine when I should be doing what.

Want to go for a bike ride at 1 p.m. Tuesday? No problem. Just reschedule the 2 p.m. client meeting and get on the bike.

Need to mow the lawn Friday morning because it's going to rain all weekend? Fine. Just get on the mower and worry about work sometime Saturday, Sunday, Monday -- or whenever you get inspired.

Got a speech tomorrow and still drawing a blank at 8 p.m. today? No big deal. Just put on some coffee and stay up late.

Late getting out those December holiday cards? Just send "Happy January" cards instead.

To me, creating a balanced life is a process of compartmentalizing and scheduling so you force in the right doses of spiritual, family, work, exercise, and so on each week. But to me, forced balance is no balance, because there are few things I hate more than rigid schedules.

So I blend my life instead. Do I occasionally drop a ball? Sure. Have I gained and lost 20 pounds a dozen times? Yep. Has a bike ride ever cost me a sale? Probably.

I simply refuse to care about these little things. And it's the peace of not caring that makes me happy and puts me in the frame of mind to get the big things done.

So I say the hell with the tightrope. Give me the blender instead. (Besides, I've never seen a tightrope make a margarita.)

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Not Everyone Is Broken

This past Tuesday I had the opportunity to hear Michael Gerber, author of The E-Myth, present his 90-minute speech "Awakening the Entrepreneur in You -- The E-Myth Revisited." Having read and enjoyed his book several years ago, I was excited in anticipation of learning some new things and glad to finally see the man in person.

Michael was a very engaging speaker who is clearly passionate about his message and his dream. His presentation was well-crafted, spoke to the heart of the problem some entrepreneurs face and included just the right mix of humor to make his points and just the right level of appropriate vulgarity to be real and effective.

Gerber's main message, however, falls woefully short of reality for the vast majority of entrepreneurs. He seems to believe that unless your approach to entrepreneurship is structured as though you were building a business to the scale of McDonnalds or Starbucks, you are broken ("a lunatic" in fact) and are in need of repair. Indeed, he is even trying to redefine the very word entrepreneur -- labeling anyone who does not follow his methods a business owner instead.

I'm sorry Mr. Gerber, but an entrepreneur is "one who organizes, manages and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise," and that includes the hands-in-the-dough pie maker just as exactly as it does the CEO running a global franchise.

The simple fact is that baking pies and running a pie franchise are two entirely different jobs, and unless you're doing the job that fits your passion you will fail. So if your passion is implementing your craft, be it pie baking, applying the law, public speaking, healing others or training dolphins, then you are not broken and you do not need to be fixed. And you should laugh in the face of anyone who would tell you otherwise.

If, on the other hand, your passion is to run a company from afar, building the systems that will allow others to implement the craft, then by all means contact Gerber or his team for help. I'm convinced they have a massive amount of experience in this realm. In fact, in my capacity as founder of Yellow-Tie -- a nonprofit trade association with international goals -- I'll be contacting them myself. (Of course, they may not want me as a client if they read this!)

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

I Can't Afford It

When you earn a dollar at your "day job," spend it on something that will earn you another dollar (like investing in real estate).

When your investment earns you a dollar, spend it on something you need, or on something you don't need that's great fun.

Live by this discipline your entire life, and money will never be a barrier to your success or your happiness.

Note: To get started, invest 10 percent of every dollar you earn at your day job. Then keep upping the percentage until every day-job dollar gets invested the moment it's earned.

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Trimming The Fat

In one of last week's visits, I wrote about the importance of measuring things in order to change them, and used my flabby self as an example of how just getting on the scale every day can do wonders.

Several people contacted me and asked what I was actually doing (besides getting on the scale) to lose the weight. So following is a summary of everything I do to lose body fat safely and effectively. (Next visit, I'll show you how these same concepts apply to creating sales success.)

It's Not Rocket Science; It's Simple Math

If you want to lose body fat, do these six things:

1. Weigh yourself every day. (See this post for the reasons.)
2. Throw every diet book you own in the trash. Dieting is the wrong way to lose weight.
3. Every day, eat a nice mix of vegetables and fruit -- the more brightly colored the better -- nuts, meats (unless you're a vegetarian) and carbs. Your body does not need dairy, but feel free to enjoy it if you like it. Just do your best to choose the healthy versions of everything you eat. Anyone past the age of 10 should be able to ascertain what "healthy versions" means. (Basically, if you think of potato chips as a vegetable, then you're in big trouble.)
4. Stay as far away from processed sugar as you possibly can -- don't eat more than 24 grams of sugar in any 24-hour period -- because if you eat it your body will burn that instead of fat. (FYI: A single 12-ounce can of soda has more than 40 grams of sugar, and processed orange juice is almost as bad. (The process of homogenizing fresh juice converts good sugars to bad sugars.) So eat the orange, drink water and leave the homogenized products and garbage soda products on the grocery shelf.)
5. Using the calculator I'll provide below, determine how many calories you are supposed to eat every day to sustain your current body weight. Then in an average week, eat that many calories per day. (Just short yourself six out of seven days if you want to splurge one day every week.)
6. Use exercise to burn off extra calories. (Every time you burn off 3,500 calories that you did not eat, you will lose a pound of body fat.)

Healthy choices. Portion control. Eat the correct amount of decent food every day. And exercise to burn the flab away. Like I said above, it's not rocket science, it's simple math.

Calorie Calculator

First, I am not a fitness trainer. I am not a doctor. I am not a dietitian. I am not a trained or certified expert on this subject in any way, shape or form. I'm just a guy who has been there, done that, and researched along the way.

Second, while you must know the right amount of calories to eat, and eat roughly that amount per day, you do not have to count calories for the rest of your life. Just count them for a couple weeks -- until you have a good feel for the calories in the meals you eat most often. Then count by feel after that, using your morning weigh-in as the measure of how well you did.

Third, the calorie calculator I'm about to give you was developed during the 15 years I spent making every diet mistake in the book, then researching options to find the next diet I could try and fail. It was born out of the frustration of this repeated stupidity, which is why it works.

Fourth, I'm sure there are thousands of people who will tell you this won't work, then ask you to buy their book or sign up for their diet regimen. My suggestion is to save your money and try this first.

To make use of the calorie calculator, you must know the following:

• Your gender. (Sorry, Ladies, but pound for pound, guys get to eat more than you do.)
• Your height in inches. (I'd like to take this chance to apologize to the non-U.S. folks out there for making them convert their height to inches, so the calculator can convert it right back to centimeters.)
• Your weight in pounds. (Same apology applies for the pounds-to-kilograms requirement.)
• The number of working hours you spend a week sitting, standing and lifting.

It also helps to know how many minutes a week you spend running, walking, cycling or swimming, and at what pace you do each of those things. (But you can figure that out later.)

I set the links below to automatically open the PDF calculators in a separate tab or browser window, so you can read the instructions below as you enter your information into the form in the other window.

• Males should use this calculator.
• Females should use this calculator.

1. After you open your version of the calculator, click on the "0" after "Height In Inches:" That is a form field into which you can type your height in inches. Type your height, then hit the <Tab> key.
2. Type your weight in pounds, then hit the <Tab> key.
3. Type your age, then hit the <Tab> key.

If you scroll down to the top section of Page 2, you'll see a number under Total Caloric Requirements (TCR). That is the number of calories you should ingest each day. For example, I am 71 inches tall. As of this morning, I weighed 188 pounds. And I am 46 years old. My TCR at this point is 2,019.

To Maintain Weight

One major secret to burning body fat is to always eat at least your daily TCR, because if you eat less than your TCR, you'll trigger a starvation reaction, and your body will start hoarding fat instead of burning it. To be absolutely certain to avoid this starvation trigger, include the calories you burn in a normal work week in your TCR calculation.

To do that, scroll to the bottom section of page 1, and enter the number of hours a week you are:

• Sitting. (Your cursor should be on this field.) Type your best guess, and hit <Tab>.
• Standing. Type your best guess, and hit <Tab>.
• Standing/Lifting. Type your best guess, and hit <Tab>.
• Heavy Lifting. Type your best guess, and hit <Tab>.

Be honest! But don't forget the weekend chores like mowing the lawn.

For example, my numbers are:

• Sitting -- 40
• Standing -- 10
• Standing/Lifting -- 10
• Heavy Lifting -- 0

That's an extra 384 calories I can eat every day -- for a daily TCR total of 2,403 -- to maintain my current weight.

To Lose Weight

To lose one pound of body fat, you must eat the right amount of calories (per the TCR number on your chart) then burn 3,500 calories you did not eat! You accomplish that with exercise.

On page 2 of the calculator is a chart showing various levels of running, walking, cycling and swimming. There is a Minutes Of Exercise (MOE) column into which you can type the number of minutes you exercise in each category per week. (Your cursor should be on the top row of this chart.) As you enter your minutes of exercise, it will calculate the approximate calories you'll burn doing that exercise. To ensure you burn at least one pound of body fat per week, do enough exercise to burn 3,500 calories.

My two favorites exercises are cycling and walking. My goal each week is the following:

• Walking 15 min./mile -- 4 hours or 240 minutes = 1,228 calories burned.
• Cycling 15 mph average speed -- 6 hours or 360 minutes = 5,219 calories burned.

Not that I'm ever exact, but in a one-week stretch, if I did eat my exact TCR of 2,403 calories per day, and exercised my exact amount of 4 hours walking and six hours biking during that week, I would burn 6,447 calories. Divide that by 3,500, and you'll see that I'll lose 1.84 pounds of body fat in seven days if I'm perfect. (Which, of course, I never am.)

Adjustments

If you follow the guidelines but don't lose weight, adjust your calories down or your exercise up. Just be sure never to go below the TCR number that is a result of the calculation from your height, weight and age (minus work-related stuff). And remember to eat healthy foods -- the fewer processed foods you eat, the better you'll be.

Ultimate Bottom Line: Losing body fat is not as difficult as all the experts would have you believe. It's simple math and common sense. And anyone who tells you something different, then asks you for your money, should be told to take a hike.

I'll apply this measurement analogy to sales in our next visit. Until then, here's to the wind in your hair, healthy food in your belly and good news on the bathroom scale!

Lesson Relearned

In a past visit, we discussed courage and the positive effect it can have on your life and business, and I promised to implement an idea -- perhaps crazy? -- I had about direct mail -- to "mail" myself to a talk-radio program director to see whether I could get him to "open me." The ultimate goal would be to create a relationship with this program director who would invite me to be interviewed on one of his programs, because those types of interviews increase your credibility with prospects. (If the radio producer lets you on air, you must be good.)

We'll I've done it. I actually climbed into a box complete with mailing label, "postage" and some humorous warnings like "Do Not Bend" and my favorite "This End Up!" and I walked into a St. Louis radio station to see what they'd do.

And the truly amazing thing is, what I relearned from the experience has little to do with courage, nothing to do with direct mail, isn't even in the neighborhood of creativity and lacks little resemblance to success.

The Package

The stamps were fake.

On the front was "Animated Brochure Enclosed," "Press Here For Audio" and "Do Not Bend."

That's an actual USPS return receipt at bottom right.

On the back was "This End Up!" "Perishable Contents" and "Time-Sensitive Material."

As a leave-behind (just in case I actually got "opened"), I assembled a large envelope containing:

• A cover letter to the producer
• My one-sheet promo for my best presentations
• A reprint of the "Random Thoughts On Courage" article that spawned this silly idea
• A copy of my book

The Delay

Two weeks ago when I wrote the courage article, I said I would package myself "today" and mail myself "tomorrow." This may seem strange, but implementing this little idea has been one of the most nerve-racking things I've done in years. It took me a full two weeks to put it together (instead of the two days I promised), because, like a crack addict rationalizing armed robbery to get his fix, I rationalized any and all delays:

• "I'm just being thorough. You have to be thorough for direct-mail to work."
• "What if this? What if that? I'm trying to get interviewed about creativity and courage. The idea isn't enough to 'sell it.' I've got to have a fantastic looking package too."
• "I've never even listened to one of this radio station's shows. I can't go in without knowing the format, the hosts, the most recent topics. I'd look like an unprepared fool if I did that. I'll spend part of next week learning about the station and listening to its programs."
• "I have a client who needs me. This proposal can't wait. Our new Fortune 1000 division meeting is Saturday, and I'm not prepared. Well, I guess this package-thing will just have to wait."

In other words, I wasted a ton of time with the nervous second-, third-, fourth- and fifth-guessing that cripples many salespeople and keeps them from ever getting the job done. Sure, I'm all for doing homework and being thorough, but at some point thorough becomes avoidance, and a good salesman should be able to spot the difference quickly.

Of course, since I made a public promise to do this, even the pain of doing it eventually became less than the pain of having to admit that I hadn't done it and wasn't planning to, so yesterday I finally executed the plan.

(Side Lesson: To avoid avoidance, tell everyone in the world what you're going to do, and make sure the pain of breaking your word is worse than any pain keeping your word can bring.)

The Final Detour

It's about 20 minutes from my office door to the radio station. Of course, it took me the better part of an hour to get there, because a colleague had just opened a new business and I had to stop in to say, "Hi." Never mind the fact that the two destinations were in opposite directions, or that I could just as easily have stopped by after I had "delivered" myself.

The Drive Downtown

I've been selling, building companies and doing public speaking for more than 30 years. I've built and personally tested prospecting systems where I had to cold-call senior executives at Fortune 1000 companies. I've walked into boardrooms filled with arrogant executives whose missions in life at that moment were to "make this salesman squirm." I've keynoted corporate meetings and conferences, and suffered question abuse from people whose only way of feeling good about themselves is to close their minds to ideas and open their mouths to belittle others.

Yet nothing I can recall over this 30-year stretch ever made me as nervous as that drive downtown.

The Lesson Relearned

When I finally realized just how many butterflies were flitting about my stomach, and stopped to figure out why, the lesson of this experience became clear: Never, ever, under any circumstances, put yourself in a position where one phone call, one knock at one door, one sales appointment, one proposal or one client matters, because when a single thing matters that much, you are almost guaranteed to fail.

I knew that -- I simply cared too much about this one "package," because I wanted to come back to you with a great success story (or at least a great story) to tell.

The Outcome

What actually happened? The "receptionist" is a member of the building's security team. He wouldn't let me in without an appointment, and didn't find the least bit of humor in what I was trying to do.

--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Random Thoughts On Courage

Dad began teaching me chess when I was 7 years old. I was 16 before I finally won a game and 22 before I beat him again.

I only recently learned that many of Dad's friends and relatives told him back then that he was a bastard for not letting me win occasionally -- to boost my ego and keep me interested. When I asked him how he responded to them, he told me he always replied, "Winning doesn't build courage. Losing does."

Looking back over the many successes I've had in my life, I can see that the courage to keep trying despite failure after failure was one of the most important things the old coot ever taught me. If it weren't for that lesson, Cindy never would have married me. (I spent seven years asking her for a date before she finally said, "Yes.")

---

Last year a business owner hired me to coach one of his salesmen for six months. In the very first coaching session I asked the salesman, "How much do you want to earn during the next year?"

His smiling response was "$45,000 would be good."

Pausing for a few seconds, I puzzled, "Why not half a million?"

He sat back in his seat, crossed his arms, dropped his eyebrows, lowered his head, scowled just a bit and mumbled, "That'd be okay."

I ended the session and gave his boss back the fee.

I had a similar thing happen with another salesman not long after the first guy, only he practically jumped out of his suit when he said, "That'd be GREAT!"

He hasn't hit half a million yet, but he's getting close.

I simply don't enjoy working with people that lack the courage to dream big. (And I learned the hard way that you can't give people big dreams.)

---

It takes less emotional energy to achieve scary-big dreams than it does to achieve puny ones, because courage is self-energizing -- it actually keeps you from tiring or wearing out.

---

I'm convinced the difference between a true leader and a pretender is the courage to let those around you take the credit.

---

As long as I have my mental faculties, I will continue working. I simply enjoy it too much to retire. There's nothing courageous about this. I just felt like saying it.

---

The most important person in my life is my courage partner, because she never lets me hide.

Who's your courage partner?

---

Here's a crazy idea. If you have a scary-big dream and the courage to let me push you way out of your comfort zone, I'll make a deal with you.

Write me a one-time, skin-in-the-game check of $15,000 and I'll be your personal courage partner, idea partner, and sales and marketing coach, mentor, trainer, etc., for as long as it takes you to achieve your dream.

I don't care if it takes the rest of my life. I don't care how much energy I have to expend or how many ideas I have to contribute. I'll be your unlimited-access courage partner as long as you stay committed to and passionate about achieving your dream.

And I'll never ask you for another penny ... ever.

The first person to make this leap of faith wins.

---

Just writing these thoughts on courage makes me want to try something I've never tried before. (Besides the crazy commitment I just made.)

I was at a National Speakers Association meeting last Saturday, and one of the subjects discussed was creating effective direct-mail pieces that will catch the attention of radio program directors and get them to interview you on the air. (When a professional speaker gets interviewed on a good radio program, it's like bookings in the bank.)

That conversation spawned a really silly question in my mind: "What if the ‘brochure' you ‘mailed' to the program director was actually you?"

Seriously, what if you somehow dressed up like you were a package and "mailed" yourself to the program director?

I can see the writing on the package already:

• Package Contains Courage -- Open At Your Own Risk
• Perishable Contents
• Time-Sensitive Material
• Do Not Bend (This one is my favorite.)
• Press Here For Audio (I like this one too.)

This afternoon I'm going to figure out how to make myself look like a package. Then sometime soon I'm going to walk into a local radio station and see if I can get the program director to "open me."

Best-case scenario, I'll be on the air soon getting interviewed about courage and creativity.

Worst-case scenario, I'll have an amusing story to tell you during a future visit.

That's one really cool thing about courage: It gives you tons of stories to tell.

--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Salesman, Salesman

Salesman, Salesman, on the team,
Can't you see just what I mean?
Of your bullshit I am tired,
So close some sales, or you'll get fired.

--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

The Gleam In Your Eye

I am the only man I know who can remember the exact moment the woman I would marry fell forever in love with me (and actually confirmed it at that very moment; first rule of sales: Never assume anything!).

It was April 3, 1982, about two months after we began dating (although we had been great friends for years). I was driving Cindy to my aunt and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary party, and I happened to briefly glance her way. I saw something in her eyes I had never seen before -- a gleam. I took a small gulp of air, grinned slightly and then asked, "You just fell in love with me, didn't you?"

Cindy's simple reply of "Yep" began a love affair that has lasted 24 years and is still going strong.

A few months ago I was working with a new client who hired me to conduct a sales audit, which involved my looking over everything and offering opinions as to what needed to be fixed and how to fix it. (Gill:? Offer an opinion? Really?) I had learned that the company's two biggest problems were several crappy salespeople, and a lack of objective communication among the entire team.

These two issues were causing a host of problems ranging from nit-picking to full-blown backstabbing. And it was making it impossible to hire good salespeople or keep the currently employed ones from jumping ship.

Since increasing communication was the key to solving both problems, that's where I focused my efforts.

During a meeting with their entire team, I explained the problem. I documented examples. And I gave my client three suggestions for immediately increasing the quality of communication among team members and, thereby, increasing their sales results.

First, I explained an easy-to-use method of measuring each salesperson's sales funnel based on objective thinking, and explained how comparing a salesperson's actual funnel to his or her target funnel would identify exactly what behaviors to change.

At this point the executive, his sales managers and about two-thirds of the sales team (group one) began nodding their heads and displaying other physical signs of "that makes sense" agreement. At the same time, the other third of the salespeople (group two) began to shift uncomfortably in their chairs.

Second, I showed them all how to measure each sales opportunity based on where the buyer is in his or her buying process, instead of where the salesperson is in his or her selling process.

When I added, "After all, it's what the buyer is thinking that counts," two things happened. In group one, the head-nodding intensified, smiles were added, and note-taking and sales funnel evaluating began in earnest. At the same time, those in group two began to show even stronger visible signs of distress, including sunken shoulders, bowed heads and "oh, no" stares.

Third, I told everyone that the only way to ensure team-wide success was to make all of this measuring publicly visible -- so that every person at the company could see exactly what the sales team was doing.

It was during this explanation that I saw many of the sunken shoulders expand and bowed heads raise -- but not in a positive way. You see, when a guy like me tells bosses to publicly expose salespeople's lack of progress, the moods of those bad salespeople will always change from downtrodden to hostile. I am, after all, eliminating their ability to hide their weaknesses by exposing them to the world.

In this particular case, the hostility was voiced in the following way (by my favorite fictional salesperson "Joe"):

Joe: "You don't understand how I sell. And having my daily activity critiqued by everyone at this company will only add to the problems we're having on this team."

Gill:: "So you don't feel that what you do at the company should be seen and evaluated by the rest of the people here?"

Joe: "No."

Gill:: "Let me ask you a question. Suppose you met with a prospect for breakfast and learned that the opportunity for business with his company was huge. That if you close it, this would be the biggest sale you'll make this year. You with me so far?"

Joe: "Sure."

Gill:: "Suppose that after meeting with you, the prospect wanted to come straight here to tour the office, meet some decision-makers and get a feel for how you guys operate. Still with me?"

Joe: "Yeah."

Gill:: "Suppose, as you walk in the front door with your prospect in tow, you find handprints all over the glass, mud tracked across the carpet and trash cans that are overflowing. In other words, suppose your prospect's first impression of the place is that you work in a pigsty. After your prospect laughs and leaves, who will receive your wrath?"

Joe: "The janitorial staff, of course."

Gill:: "So you depend on the janitors to keep this company's image strong. And when they screw up, it can easily cost you a sale and your commission. Is that right?"

Joe: "Sure."

Gill:: "Who pays the janitorial staff?"

Joe: "The company."

Gill:: "If you people don't sell, will the company have money to pay them?"

Joe (sheepishly): "I guess not."

Gill:: "So if you don't find leads and close business, those janitors are out of a job. Right?"

Joe: "I suppose."

Gill:: "You both rely on one another for your income. Do you really think it's fair that you get to view their work and complain when they don't do their jobs, but they don't get to view your work and complain when you don't do yours?"

Joe stared at me like he'd been shot. When he couldn't find anything to say, I glanced in the direction of the Senior VP of Sales (the top executive in the room). The gleam in his eye spoke volumes.

Just like with Cindy 24 years ago, that gleam in his eye told me everything -- it told me he now believed in objectively measuring his sales team's performance. It told me he understood my explanation of doing just that. It told me he believed in publicly displaying the results. And it told me exactly how successful his sales team was going to be -- the success of that team will be equal to the intensity of the gleam in that executive's eyes.

Are you the leader of your sales team?

How intense is the gleam in your eye?

--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Mom's Kitchen

I can still see the orange rays streaming through the picture window that morning. I was 12. It was the summer between sixth and seventh grade, and Dad and I were in the finishing stages of a total rehab of our house. It was around 5 a.m., and he and I were sitting alone at the kitchen table surveying our handiwork with pride and anticipation.

Mom's kitchen was old-school. Room as big as a small house. Kitchen cabinets and appliances lining three walls. Doors leading to every other area of our home. Solid-oak table -- strategically centered, of course -- capable of seating 16 for a fine Thanksgiving meal, or standing 25 for arts and crafts.

This room was the epicenter of family life at the Wagner's, so it was perfectly natural that Mom was beyond anxious for us to finish her kitchen -- she had been cooking out back on a camping stove (not to mention using a sheet of plywood set on construction horses as a dinner table) for more than a week.

About 9 o'clock the night before, we had finished painting the kitchen walls, and the family was winding down for the night. That's when Dad pulled me aside and whispered, "If we bust our butts all night, we can finish this and surprise Mom in the morning."

"Finish it in one night?" I thought. "You must be kidding."

We still had to install the electrical outlets and plates, lay the tile floor, set the kitchen cabinets and appliances, cut and install the baseboard, and, most importantly, set up Mom's table and chairs.

And we had to do all that without waking up Mom.

I truly figured there was no way we could do it, but at the same time, I was really excited about the reaction we'd get from her if we pulled it off.

So as soon as she hit the sack and Dad made his excuses for staying up "another hour or so," we tackled that kitchen like madmen on a crusade.

20 electrical outlets installed with plates ... Done!

352 square feet of tile laid ... Done!

Dozens of kitchen cabinets leveled and secured, countertops installed and jointed, plumbing hooked up and tested, cabinet knobs screwed in ... Done!

55 feet of baseboard measured, cut, stained and installed ... Done!

Stove and fridge installed and leveled ... Done!

And finally, Mom's kitchen table and chairs lovingly arranged ... Done!

Feeling that cocky pride that comes only after an impossible job is done, and done well, we were darn sure not going to miss the look in Mom's eyes as she walked into her new kitchen that morning. So I popped Dad another Falstaff (taking my "I popped it, I'm starting it" sip off the top, of course), and we sat down to wait.

After sitting silently for a while as we surveyed our work and patted ourselves on the back, Dad calmly but deliberately took a swig of beer, leaned toward me slightly, gave me one of his "I'm serious now, so listen up" looks, and said:

"When people sit back and gaze at what they've built, they aren't smiling because what they've built is beautiful. They're smiling because they're remembering every measurement, every cut, every grand idea and every stupid mistake that went into taking raw material and turning it into something wonderful.

"They're smiling because they're looking at what love can create.

"Mom is going to love her kitchen, because we loved building it."

Since that summer morning, I've built six companies. And while every one of those companies has achieved success, the times I remember and cherish most are times like being $250,000 in debt with no receivables, no clients, no money to pay bills six months old, phones about to be turned off, and attorneys and collection agencies threatening to take my home.

The things I remember and cherish most happened during the building, not when I finished what I had started.

What is your task today? To overcome insurmountable debt? To make 100 phone calls? To close a deal? To wow an audience?

Tackle that task with the love of a child trying to put a smile on his mother's face, and you'll not only greatly increase your chances of success, you'll be guaranteed to have something on which you can look back and smile.

--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association